Alone she sits on Christmas Eve,
With family all around.
The children decorate the tree,
She never makes a sound.
The little ones run up to her,
"Hey, grandma see the star!"
But, she just sits and looks at them,
And wonders who they are.
My mother who was always lively,
And loved Christmas time,
Now sits and looks confused with this,
And stares as if she's blind.
I wonder as I look at her,
What she is thinking now.
The memories are jumbled up,
Inside her mind somehow.
I try to tell her just how much,
She always loved December.
She looks at me, with empty eyes,
And she just can't remember.
I try reminding her of things,
We have done in the past.
But, she cannot remember them,
Her mind is fading fast.
My heart is breaking as I sit,
And my eyes start to tear.
I know my mother's sitting there,
But, she's no longer here.
This woman who has always been,
My anchor and my shield.
Is slowly moving from my life,
And I can only yield.
This lady who gave birth to me,
And made a loving home,
Is now surrounded by her loved ones,
But, she feels alone.
She tries to speak, but words won't come,
And then the look of pain.
And she cannot remember words,
To make her sentence plain.
So... she gets frustrated,
And she doesn't even try,
And all she does is stare at us,
And then she starts to cry.
Alzheimer or Dementia,
To us, it is all the same.
What ever doctors call it,
It is agonizing pain.
For families who are dealing with,
This dreaded mind disease,
The name is not important,
They can call it what they please.
To watch someone you love so much,
And see them every day,
And day by day before your eyes,
They slowly pass away.
If you can't understand it,
Or have never felt this pain,
Imagine if they looked at you,
And say, "What is your name?"
So on this Christmas Eve,
As children decorate the tree,
I bow my head in silent prayer,
I softly make this plea.
This living death is painful,
It is slow, but it is sure.
My silent prayer for all of us,
'Please... let them find a cure.'
"Fleeting" © 1999 James A. Kisner.
The Poems and Writings of James A. Kisner
are copyrighted and may not be reproduced without written
from Fleeting Moments Publishing.
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